In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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