I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
