do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
