you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
