dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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