You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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