but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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