first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
