Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize