I heard we made out
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
