I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
