Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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