once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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