So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I love having hate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize