just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize