my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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