People in love make me want to vomit
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
