Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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