2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm just crazy horny about you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
