I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
