this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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