New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
