well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
