Kiss
Puke
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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