apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
