After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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