o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
