You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize