youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
should my penis look like a turkey
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
