You're a womanizer and a bitch.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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