I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
