This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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