Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
