Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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