Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize