Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
