Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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