cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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