my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it hurts more in the daytime
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize