I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
