remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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