Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize
