Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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