I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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