I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
