Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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