Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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