weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
