And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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