go do what you do best...puke behind churches
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
