Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
