You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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