Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize