how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
