I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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