Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
