A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
