I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
