Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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