I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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