Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
